In the world of business, trust and goodwill are often seen as the foundation of strong relationships. When working with friends, it’s easy to assume that verbal agreements and informal understandings are enough to carry a project forward. However, as many professionals have learned, mixing friendship with business without clear, written contracts can lead to miscommunication, unmet expectations, and even damaged relationships.

This lesson was painfully learned by Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell, a lawyer and publisher, who shared a cautionary tale about working with a friend on a book project. Without a formal contract in place, Lynita found herself navigating a minefield of unrealistic expectations, communication breakdowns, and emotional strain. Her friend submitted a book in PowerPoint format instead of a Word document, which created hours of extra work for Lynita. When the project didn’t meet her friend’s expectations, the lack of a contract made it difficult to address issues professionally. The situation ultimately led to frustration and a strain on their friendship. This story highlights why contracts are essential, even in friend-based business dealings, and how they protect both the friendship and the professional partnership.

Why Informal Agreements Can Lead to Misunderstandings

Verbal agreements or informal understandings, especially when dealing with friends, often seem convenient and simple. However, without clearly defined terms in writing, misunderstandings can easily arise. Lynita’s decision to rely on a “gentlewoman’s agreement” with a close friend led to an overwhelming amount of confusion. Since no contract was in place to outline specific deliverables or responsibilities, Lynita’s friend submitted her manuscript in a PowerPoint presentation format, which wasn’t appropriate for a book. 

This unexpected turn of events left Lynita spending hours reformatting the project—a situation that could have been avoided had there been a written agreement in place. Reflecting on her experience, Lynita remarked, “The thought of having to boil it all down to writing just did not cross my mind… and we make the worst clients because we don’t follow our own advice sometimes.”

Without a written contract, both parties were operating on different assumptions. What seemed clear to Lynita’s friend was completely out of sync with the realities of publishing. The lack of formal documentation also made it difficult for Lynita to push back professionally, leading her to take on additional tasks without adequate compensation or clear expectations. 

As Lynita shared, “I was trying to be such a good friend to her, I was a bad friend to myself.” This highlights how informal agreements, though well-intentioned, can create vague boundaries and lead to misaligned expectations, ultimately straining both the business project and the friendship.

The Role of Contracts in Setting Clear Expectations

Contracts play a crucial role in setting clear expectations in any business relationship, particularly when working with friends. They provide a formal structure that outlines specific responsibilities, timelines, and deliverables, ensuring that both parties are on the same page from the beginning. In the story, the absence of a contract allowed her friend to submit work in an unconventional format, which led to significant delays and extra work. Had there been a contract specifying the requirements for submission, such as the need for a manuscript in Word format, much of the confusion could have been avoided. As Lynita explained, “If we had a contract, the feel of the entire situation would have been different… you’re not dealing with a friend Lynita; you’re dealing with publisher professional Lynita.”

Moreover, contracts set clear boundaries that can prevent scope creep and protect both parties from misaligned expectations. For example, in Lynita’s case, the lack of a contract made it challenging to manage her friend’s additional demands without a formal process for addressing them. A written agreement would have allowed Lynita to maintain a professional boundary, ensuring that any extra work or changes would be clearly outlined and compensated for. As she pointed out, “When everything is written down, it protects both parties—there’s no question about what’s expected, and it helps avoid unnecessary tension.” Contracts not only clarify roles and expectations but also ensure that both the friendship and business partnership remain intact.

Preserving Friendships Through Professionalism

One of the key ways to preserve friendships when conducting business is by maintaining professionalism from the very start. A strong friendship doesn’t have to conflict with a business partnership if both parties agree to treat the arrangement like any other professional endeavor. Lynita’s story is a perfect example of how blending personal and professional relationships without proper boundaries can lead to misunderstandings and tension. 

In hindsight, Lynita realized that professionalism would have protected the friendship. As she explained, “If we had started with a contract, it would have set the tone that this was a business deal, not just a favor between friends.” Setting clear professional boundaries not only helps keep expectations aligned but also shows respect for both the friendship and the work.

Professionalism in friend-based business relationships is about clear communication, accountability, and transparency. It allows both parties to work through issues without emotional entanglement, making it easier to resolve conflicts before they escalate. In Lynita’s case, having clear rules of engagement would have helped avoid the emotional strain she experienced. “I’ve learned that treating friends as high-touch clients is essential—because they need to know they’re getting something special, but also that there’s a business side to it,” she shared. By maintaining professionalism, both parties can feel respected, and the friendship remains intact even after the project is completed.

Conclusion

Mixing business and friendship can be rewarding, but it requires careful management to avoid potential pitfalls. As Lynita’s experience illustrates, even with the best intentions, informal agreements can lead to miscommunications and strained relationships. By prioritizing professionalism through the use of contracts, clear communication, and defined expectations, both the friendship and the business partnership can flourish. Written agreements not only clarify responsibilities but also protect both parties, ensuring fairness and transparency. Ultimately, setting boundaries and maintaining a professional approach when working with friends demonstrates respect for the relationship and helps preserve the friendship long after the business deal is done.